"I'll take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally!"
- Eminem

What if there were no security guards on TV chat shows? What if the disgruntled guests were actually ENCOURAGED to come to blows? The MDickie Show holds the answer to those very questions. On this show people come out to discuss their problems and then solve them the old fashioned way: with a vicious, hardcore fight to the death! With a motto like "Violence Solves Everything" you're asking for trouble...

Take A Seat
The game IS as simple as it sounds. Two guests come out on stage, take a seat, exchange a few lines of heated dialogue - then when it reaches boiling point they stand up and, for all intents and purposes, it becomes a fighting game! An outrageous brawl ensues, which comes to an end once the host has declared one of the guests unable to continue. The winner goes home safe in the knowledge that he/she was 'right', whereas the loser goes home in an ambulance! A problem brawled is a problem solved...

Tabloid Junkie
Believe it or not, there IS an objective to the game. Like Federation Booker, it revolves around the world of TV ratings. You must play through a season of shows, each time choosing whether to control the 'good guy' or the 'bad guy' in an argument. Every time you win as the good guy you take a step towards being the 'nicest' show on TV, whereas every win as the bad guy takes you closer to being the 'nastiest'. It doesn't particularly matter which route you take so long as you become the most talked about show in the world. You may regret your choices at times though, because your preferred guy isn't always the strongest fighter - and then there's the matter of your integrity. Choosing which side of the fence you're on, with regards to ever-more controversial issues, is the ultimate test of your morals! Don't go thinking you can lay down for your opponent either. Every loss is viewed as a "fake" fight - whether you lost on purpose or not - and that's seriously damaging to your cause. Not only do you take a step in the wrong direction, but you can only suffer 3 such scandals before the show is pulled of the air entirely...

Look Who's Talking
Topping the ratings is only the tip of the iceberg: you haven't completed this game until you've unlocked all 35 show topics! They only become available once you discover them in the Season mode, so you have to play through several times before you unlock them all. They're worth playing for though. Far from the speech bubbles of Federation Booker, this game sees the debut of my humble mic work - as each conversation is acted out with real speech! Not just the same voice over and over either. Although I do them all, at least a dozen unique voices from both sides of the Atlantic are portrayed - including a few impressions. I really enjoyed doing them, and hopefully they're not too bad - in which case they may become a welcome addition to the games. In any case, if you think you can do better there's space for you to record you very own promos! That should be VERY interesting...

What's The Matter?
So what are all these voices talking about? Well, the topics range from the outright ridiculous to the downright dangerous. Some are heated, some are light-hearted, some are weird - and some are just plain explicit! The language is disgraceful more often that not - but I felt it had to be that way to have any credibility. Mercifully, there are some good censoring options which cover both the speech and the subtitles. In fact, sometimes it's funnier to have censored speech because of the authentic *BEEP* effects! Back to the topics, there's actually plenty for wrestling fans to enjoy. The Bret-Vince dispute is hinted at in one of my favourites, there's a Rocky 3 style boxing vs wrestling dispute, some characters from Federation Booker come to blows, and there are a couple of instances where wrestling fans get heat from a teacher. Even the ones that aren't wrestling-inspired still have familiar voices. Look out for loose impressions of JR, Steve Austin, Vince McMahon, Bret Hart, and even Randy Savage! Elsewhere, there are countless stabs at the real world - with public figures like George Bush putting in a couple of appearances. Believe it or not, there're even a few female voices. Thanks to the wonders of pitch I could make certain voices higher, which just about does the job. The voices aren't exclusive to the intro either. Shorter remarks can be heard occasionally throughout a fight, which is great because it reminds you why they're fighting in the first place...

Rage On The Stage
The fighting gameplay should feel very familiar to fans of my wrestling games. You've got the usual range of attacks at your disposal, but also a network of bigger moves that come from grappling. I'd like to think that it's a very close port of the gameplay from the 2D games, but the 3D world does demand several adjustments. Firstly, you're required to focus on a particular opponent - especially in multiplayer battles (although you can have a free-roaming stance instead). Another change is the introduction of running. You walk by default and must employ a whole other button to pick up the pace or charge at an opponent. Although the gameplay is inspired by wrestling, the comical thing is that the characters aren't talented fighters - they're mostly regular people. This means the move sets are dominated by less impressive attacks that your average person would be capable of. When they get into their "X-Rated" special state though, even an ordinary man can unleash devastating attacks such as the Stunner! The move animations range from average to downright awful, but they're certainly a huge step up from anything you've seen from me before. Anybody that can bear the jerky 2D animations of Federation Booker has absolutely nothing to fear! Whatever their shortcomings, the moves are enhanced by a greater level of interaction. Such as the system evolved from Federation Booker, where you can once again turn moves in mid-air - going smoothly through 360 degrees this time...

Damages Must Be Paid For
Since the characters are mostly talentless fools, there is a greater emphasis on items and weapons. There are about 20 different types of item and 20 different types of  weapon, which is a staggering range - including everything from TV's to pot plants, swords to boxing gloves. Better yet, the portions are very generous as you can place up to 50 of each in the studio! The level of interaction is also better than ever, as you can clamber onto the items and carry the weapons at ALL TIMES - even when executing moves. Hell, they're even put to use in those situations! Best of all though: you can throw weapons around - with amusing consequences. I'm particularly proud of that system, which boasts realistic physics as the weapons bounce off the walls (or heads of players!) and tumble along the ground...

Highway To Hell!
As if the items weren't lethal enough on their own, you can even set fire to them for added effect - as seen in Big BumpZ. One key difference here, though, is that you must set fire to a small weapon first and then use that as a torch to light bigger things. Not as hard as it sounds because you can even throw burning weapons, which will then automatically set fire to whatever it lands on! There's a cool smoke trail when you do that too. Sometimes you might even set things off by accident. Electrical items like TV's and cameras have been known to explode upon breaking - and anything that gets caught in the blaze can be set alight. Of course, explosions can occur a little more deliberately if you get your hands on the TNT weapon - which is especially devastating now that you can throw it like a grenade! Also, new to this game are less harmful explosives such as fire extinguishers and bottles of beer. They have the power to blind players temporarily and, in a nice little detail, their spray actually puts out fires... 

Give Me A Hand
Naturally, all of this extreme violence takes its toll. Not only do the guests get covered in blood and scars - they can even lose limbs! It takes some serious punishment to get that far, but whip out the explosives and burning tables and you could end up losing parts of your legs and arms - or even your head! Although the limbs don't stay on the floor, you can suffer some realistic consequences. If you lose part of your leg then you limp - lose them completely and you can't even get up off the ground! Likewise, if you lose your hands you can no longer pick up weapons or interact with items. All of this carnage is accompanied by some nice spurts and pools of blood, which can be censored or toned down if you so wish. All this loss isn't exclusive to your body though - characters can also lose their costume accessories, such as hats and shades! In a cool little feature, the spectacles even break apart one lens at a time. The items themselves don't even escape the carnage in this game! Like a player, they can get soaked in varying degrees of blood and bruising. As well as being a nice aesthetic touch, it also reminds you which parts of the studio have seen the most action...

Hell In A Cell
Naturally, the setting is rather limited given that it's a chat show. I'd like to think I've squeezed as much out of it as possible though. Beyond the stage, there are several other areas to spill into - such as the green room backstage, the front of the crowd, and the side corridors (to which you only get access when you knock through the walls!). Furthermore, the actual studio design has a few variations - featuring different wall and floor textures, etc.. More interestingly, though, you can have different atmospheres such as coloured tints, dim, cartoon or disco style lighting - and even outdoor locations! They're not especially well suited to a TV show, but they make a nice change - not least because you can have 3 different times of day (as seen in Big BumpZ). Another uncharacteristic gimmick is the steel cage, which sits at the front of the stage and locks the action in. Of course you can use it as an item to do some serious damage - it even has a nice rattling effect...

More Than One Way To Skin A Guest
The Season mode might revolve around a series of one-on-one streetfights, but in the exhibition style "Rehearsals" mode you've got a little more scope. You can completely customize your own battles from the characters and topic through to the arena and items layout - but best of all: the fight format. You can have up to 4 guests (not an awful lot of room for any more chairs than that!) competing as either individuals or in 2 teams. There are even a few aim variations, such as playing to injury instead of KO - and better yet: "King of the Hill". This is essentially a Battle Royal, where guests must knock each other off the stage. It works fantastically because attacks aren't the only way to knock someone off - most of the moves can throw opponents to the floor too! You can even fall off by slipping over near the edge, so a messed-up move could even eliminate yourself...

Justice Will Be Done
No matter what the game mode, there's always the chance of some wild interferences! Whether it's a disgruntled fan rushing out of the audience, or a family friend running in from backstage, you can expect someone to even up the score. Hell, even the HOST will get his kicks in if things get out of hand! One cool feature is that if a potential intruder is hanging around somewhere in the studio, you can actually kick them into action yourself by taking a shot at them - don't expect them to thank you for it though. Naturally, all of these extra characters take their toll on the game speed, so they're reduced to an option that can be toned down to suit you. There're one or two as standard, but in Rehearsals you can jack that up to 4 - resulting in brawls of almost 10 people!

Think Tank
The artificial intelligence that brings those intruders to the tussle is also better than ever. Making them explore a 3D world was something of a challenge, but it did force me to improve my techniques. The result is that the CPU players navigate the various rooms and corridors quite successfully - rarely ever getting trapped behind walls or items. Their fighting intelligence is also more advanced than anything we've seen in the 2D games. They can spot and deal with the closest threat to them, and even their choice of attack is thought through. Like a human, they like to incapacitate you with quick attacks before attempting big shots or grapples. All in all, there are about 6 difficulty levels - ranging from punchbags to "Award Winning" masters. And if that isn't hard enough for you, there's a special "Handicapped" setting that makes life an uphill struggle for you!

The Measure Of A Man
The range of characters in this game is broader than in any other. Since they're ordinary people, there are personalities from all walks of life - varying in race, sexuality, gender, and occupation. Hell, there's even an alien and a nudist in there somewhere! There are over 40 default characters altogether, each with their own appearance, style, move set, and even voice tone. Some have been lifted from my back catalogue of games, some are hinting at celebrities, but most are pretty much fictitious. And, unlike my wrestling games, they're mostly wearing regular clothes - which actually seems to bring out the best in the models...

Make-Over
As ever, the editor that created all of those characters is at your complete disposal - allowing you to expand the roster to up to 60 guests. To fit in with the TV gimmick, it's actually referred to as a "Make-Over" here though. Other than that, it's a slightly modified version of the one in Big BumpZ. One fantastic improvement is that all of the body models have been revised to accommodate any hairstyle or combination of accessories. Previously, there was a separate model for each - but now you can achieve pretty much any look with either a fat, thin, female, or normal body. There are even a few brand new models such as baggy pants, the alien, and (to my eternal shame) the nudist! Another addition is the Style page, which is essential for configuring the various attributes, attacks, gestures, and moves. Given that these are normal people (and I didn't have all year to spend on move animations anyway), there are very few move and attack options. There are only a handful of choices for each attack and stance, and a small selection of just over 30 grappling moves to choose from. The emphasis is very much on weapon-wielding though, so you really don't notice - not least because each move gains a new lease of life with an item in hand...

As Seen On TV
The most striking thing about this game is that a lot of work went into the presentation. I normally let that take a backseat, but this time I went all-out to recreate that TV 'look'. Not only are the menus and setup screens looking better than ever, but the in-game presentation has also stepped up a notch. There's an Oprah style logo in the corner of the screen, which summarizes the show topic, and there are TV-style name bars whenever a character is being introduced. But best of all: there's a great selection of camera angles. There are 20 all in all - so many that the number keys are merely preferred shortcuts rather than the whole list. Now you browse through them backwards and forwards with F1 and F2 - pressing F3 to zoom straight there instead of letting the camera drift. Another cool touch is that your choice of angle is briefly described in the top-left corner of the screen - together with a reminder of who it's following. Mercifully, the game uses the most suitable ones automatically - gazing at the show topic on the video screen at first, then getting in close for the conversations before zooming out to take in the wild action! It's all there for you to control though - as if you're the director...